Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The F Word, Diary post dated November 15, 2008

A great man once said that there are 3 phases in a man’s life:

1. When he believes in Santa Claus

2. When he does not believe in Santa Claus and

3. When he is Santa Claus

In a similar classification, life in divided into several phases, College life coming out as one of the most prominent one. And with every phase comes its own special lingo. According to my observation, the F word is used very frequently, and before you let your imagination run wild, here are a few of the F Words I am talking about:

1. Fundoo – Think of a guy who knows his fundamentals right. Add a pinch of overconfidence and laziness and voila, you have your very own Fundoo.

2. Frustoo – He is the person who will go to his room and decode whatever you said into binary or hexadecimal form (just for practice). If you ask him “Whats up dude?”, he will look up and say “Sky!”. But he is the Mr. Dependable of your class, because he is the one from whom you can copy your assignments.

3. Faltoo - There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who can count and those who can’t. These are the third kind; and believe me, a major portion of college students fall in this category. But we are proud of it; because ignorance is bliss. If someone asks you if you studied Fluid Mechanics in college, all you say is “I flunked it. But mind you, I would have got more than 99% if I had tried!”

4. Friend - A good friend is one who tells you to study well, but a best friend is one who stands outside the examination room and shouts
“Abbe kuch aa raha hai ya aur chits fekuuuu”

In this category, you get another F Word: Fun. Whether you are getting bumps for taking a girl out for valentine or whether you were caught drawing the professor’s face and writing ‘Pig Head’ on it when in class, the fun is never complete without a friend. It could be a girl or a boy, but making them a bakra when the professor catches you is the best part.

5. Fame - A lot of college life depends on fame. And there are several ways of getting it. There is a king for almost everything here. You could be ‘Zulmi – The king of ragging’ or ‘Topper – The king of frustus’ (a.k.a Mr. Frusteshwar or Mr. Chintamani).

Coming to the recent college happenings, the Golden Jubilee Celebrations for our college (for completion of 50 years since formation) will start in full force from Oct 10th, the college foundation day. Mr. Rama Lingaraju, CEO of Satyam Computers is expected to grace the inaugural event. Next in line is the annual college Fest ‘Technozion’ (www.technozion.org) which will be held in conjunction with Vyas from Oct 17th to 19th, 2008. Student volunteers are busy making the preparations for the event, which will have several luminaries giving guest lectures including Mr. S. Gopalakrishnan, co-founder of Infosys Technologies Limited, Mr. Dilip Chhabria, the automobile magnate and Mr. Anthony James Leggett, the 2003 Physics Nobel prize winner.

The administration has granted the students a week long leave for Dussehra after their excruciating mid-sem exams. The 1000 room block is nearing completion and will probably come in use in the next semester. The 3rd mess has been turned into a vegetarian mess to cater to the first year students. The placement season has been good this year. Due to the recession, recruitment for software companies has decreased, but the number of core companies has increased phenomenally. Mechanical Engineering undisputedly has had the best placement season this year.

Before I sign off, I would like to give some tips for living a happy life to all the troubled souls out there. I suggest you take my advice, because I don’t use it anyways.

1. Need a loan from a friend? Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.

2. Need an excuse to avoid sports class? Just say “I get enough exercise just pushing my luck”.

3. In an interview: Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

4. While seeing a comedy movie: He who laughs last thinks slowest.

5. In a viva-voce: If you can't convince them, confuse them.

6. After joining job: Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

7. Problem with your computer memory? 160 GB too less? Double your drive space. Delete Windows!

So, Au revoir. Sayonara. Ciao. Asta La Vista. Auf Wiedersehen. Adios. Tot ziens. And for those of you who don’t understand other languages, Goodbye!.

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